When her sister Mina falls ill with a mysterious disease of the blood, Lucy Westfeldt and her fiancé, Jonathan Harker, enlist the help of famed female vampire hunter Doctor Jean Van Helsing. Their hunt for the dangerous and sexy Count Dracula abounds with clever wordplay and quick-change antics.

The characters listed below are traditionally split between five actors; however, casting can be expandable to about 10 actors.

CAST OF CHARACTERS

COUNT DRACULA Commanding European dialect. Hugely sexy, magnetically handsome, rock star presence with a killer body, he is a narcissist whose greatest love is himself - and his leather pants. Bored with women falling all over him, he becomes obsessed with Lucy when he hears of her strength and adventurousness. The less she needs him, the more interested he is. He travels to Whitby to find her and make her his bride for eternity. 

JONATHAN HARKER RP British dialect. Prim and proper and obsessive-compulsive real estate agent, frightened of his own shadow. Engaged to his childhood crush Lucy Westfeldt and enamored of her fearlessness. Once bitten he loosens up…a lot ... and becomes a Tom Jones-style rock star in leather pants. 

LUCY WESTFELDT RP British dialect. Brilliant, plucky earth scientist daughter of Dr. Westfeldt, she is full of energy and the spirit of adventure and often underestimated because of her beauty. Engaged to Jonathan, but when Dracula moves to Whitby, she is curious about his strange ways and impressed by their similar interests. 

MINA WESTFELDT RP British dialect. The less attractive, less intelligent Westfeldt daughter, she lives in her sister Lucy's shadow and is desperate for attention. She is immediately (pathetically) receptive to Dracula's charm.

DR WALLACE WESTFELDT RP British dialect. Lucy and Mina's father, a blow hard; self-important misogynist given to proclamations and posturing with his pipe. A doctor caring for the criminally insane, he has recently lost his wife to consumption. 

DR. VAN HELSING German dialect a la Mel Brooks. Brilliant and sturdy German vampire-hunting doctor from the University of Schmutz. Deadly serious in the way Germans can be, she is accustomed to people not believing she is a real doctor. Strong, smart, unt bold, she is a woman of action. 

RENFIELD Cockney dialect and salivary issues. Insane patient of Dr Westfeldt who lives to serve and loves to eat bugs. In a word, the dude is nuts.

KITTY RUTHERFORD Cockney dialect. A dotty kleptomaniac patient of Dr Westfeldt, she serves as a maid in his house. Think Mrs. Lovett but servile and easily distracted. 

LORD CAVENDISH Scottish dialect. Lucy’s suitor; a Scottish dolt. 

LORD WORTHINGTON RP British dialect. Lucy suitor; posh, British and petulant.

LORD HAVEMERCY Texas accent. Lucy's arrogant suitor from Memphis, a la Yosemite Sam. 

DRIVER Eastern European or Russian dialect. The male, Transylvanian driver of the carriage carrying Jonathan to Dracula's castle who tries to warn him. Borat meets Boris and Natasha. 

CAPTAIN Sea Captain dialect. The salty captain of a doomed ship caught in a raging storm. 

BOSUN Irish dialect. A scurvy seamen who goes down with the ship in a storm. 

GRAVEDIGGER Cockney dialect. A drunk gravedigger with a secret.